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I am deeply grateful for my mother. I am also grateful for the various maternal figures in my life – my (now deceased) maternal grandmother, aunts and teachers over the years.
As a toddler, I was terrified of being separated from my mother. From anecdotes I have heard from others who had the unfortunate experience of handling me while she was away, I would bring the house down with my screaming, crying and other antics.
From the time I was little, my mother or “Amma” as I call her in my native tongue, always encouraged me to develop my abilities. Her appreciation of prize winners in my school brought out my own natural ambitions. I started studying hard to top my class and ventured into public speaking or elocution competitions, as they were called, at the tender age of seven.
(My father also helped me prepare my speeches then. Later, I started doing all that on my own and got more and more confident on stage, winning a few contests.)
When I was nine and my younger brother was just four, Amma took me by public transport to learn Indian classical (Carnatic) music from a private tutor. She also enrolled me in weekly karate classes in school around the age of ten. All this while managing a household, cooking all the meals often from scratch, shopping for groceries, washing and cleaning, and taking care of extended family members that stayed with us.
In India, high school has two major Board examinations – in grade ten (S.S.C.) and twelve (H.S.C.). Students study hard for these, sometimes preparing for 2 or 3 years, as the results matter a lot in deciding which major they choose and which colleges they gain admission to. Amma would stay up late, wake up early, and ensure that I had my meals, snacks and tea to fuel me through those long days and nights of studying.
When I was in my Twelfth grade, my father had an accident. My mother nursed him through his recovery and me later when I got sick with jaundice in the same academic year.
The following year, I went off to engineering college. Every Monday, she would pack some hot ‘idlis’ (rice cakes) for me to take to college as I lived the rest of the week with fellow students in a rented apartment, coming home only for the weekends. Once, I had forgotten to take my lunch box. She came all the way to the station and handed it over to me before I boarded my train.
Another incident I remember vividly was when my brother was a toddler. We were traveling by a commuter train to see my aunt and uncle who lived in the same city, Mumbai. These trains are usually super crowded and there is a knack of getting out and in, using the momentum of crowds. I alighted first and my mother who was carrying my brother, could not follow me soon enough. The train had started to move and suddenly, there she was, holding my brother tight and huddled on the platform. She had jumped out! Why? So that I, a little girl, was not left alone on a platform full of strangers, some of whom could be dangerous.
Amma and I have had several disagreements over the years. I gravely disappointed her and my dad with my choice of a marriage partner. Several years later, she suffered more heartbreak when my first marriage ended.
A woman of strong principles and opinions, she instilled in me the values of courage, strength and intellectual growth, inspiring me to speak up for my rights. She admonished me when I was wrong, ensuring I grew up to be a decent human being. Due to societal and family expectations, she herself could not pursue her career dreams but she gave her all so that her children could live out their dreams.
And what breaks my heart to think about is – my failures and setbacks, small and big, hurt Amma even more than they hurt me – such as the time I narrowly missed the first rank in school or lost a seat at a college closer to my home due to bad judgment, or had my life come apart after the divorce.
I can never repay my debt to Amma. She has played a major part in making me who I am. She and countless other mothers the world over embody the fact that the little things we do every day to keep the house running, bodies nourished, minds engaged and hearts opened, are the things that build a society, build the world.
My dearest Amma, you will always be the person I have loved the most from the time I took my first breath until I take my last, and perhaps even beyond. May God bless and keep you healthy on this planet for many years to come…and other mothers, too.
– Lakshmi Iyer, Happiness Factors Team
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“Jhingaa”/”Turia” – Gourd Recipe (Vegan, Gluten Free )
“Jhingaa” or “Turia” is one in a family of gourd vegetables that are cultivated in India and several other countries. You can buy them at an Indian or Asian supermarket.
They look intimidating but rest assured, they are easy to cook and delicious, not to mention highly nutritious.
Ingredients:
(4-5 servings)
4 large gourd pieces
1 tbsp. turmeric powder
1 tbsp. cumin seeds
2 chopped green chilies
Vegetable or olive oil for cooking
Salt to taste
Preparation:
First, peel off the thick skin to reveal the tender, white interior.
Chop the gourd into diced cubes.
Heat some cooking oil in a pan (about 2-3 tbsp.) and add some cumin seeds, chopped green chilies and turmeric powder. Add the diced cubes of gourd and some salt to taste.
Cover and cook on medium heat, stirring occasionally, until most of the water has evaporated and the vegetable is soft. This should take about 20-25 minutes.
The gourd is ready to serve. It goes best with ‘rotis’ (Indian flatbreads). You can have it with gluten free breads or crepes, too.
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Dance or swing to some uplifting music for a few minutes every day. Not only will it get your blood circulation going better, but will also release endorphins to boost your mood and energy!
Oil Pulling with Coconut Oil:
Every morning before brushing teeth take half spoon coconut oil, swish it in your mouth for 1-2 minutes and spit it out.
Benefits are:
- Helps kill harmful bacteria
- Reduces inflammation and improves gum health
- Reduces bad breath
- Prevents cavities
“My mother set the ambience for me, without which I would not be what I am. Motherhood is not of biology but of unconditional Inclusion.” – Sadhguru
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